~~~ That's Me ~~~

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Nothing to offer

“an outsider”, fine, I never said I was an insider.

“compare you and her, I think she gave me more than you did”, so that’s your definition of friendship, to take more than you give.

“intrude into my blog”, how did you know I intrude into your blog if you don’t intrude into mine? And I didn’t mean to “intrude”, just to go and see your blog cos I care, even though we are not in contact often.

“disappear from the social circle”, I did not “disappear”, at least she knows my current happenings, cos we keep in contact, but you don’t know about what I’ve been doing recently, so you assumed I “disappear”, well, I am not air, I cannot “disappear”, if you really wanna say I “disappear” , I merely “disappear” from YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE, that’s all.

I “disappear” from YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE not because I don’t like you, just merely we got nothing much to talk about, so we don’t keep in contact. That’s all.

But in my heart, I treat you as a friend whom I’ve known for years, even though we are not close now, I care about you, that’s why I “intrude” into your blog to read, and seeing you planning for your once-in-a-lifetime wedding, I feel happy for you as well.

Just like how I feel happy for her, I took my stand far away and merely watched my friends living their lives happily, preparing the next stage of their lives.

But I feel disappointed when I see how petty you can be, at the small issues of being an “information feeder”, when you should be happily sharing your excitement with her since both of you are going to be brides, but instead, you poured cold water on her, showed un-enthusiasm, even pettiness and feeling sour. Why?

“in return for friendship”, in what kinda ways did she NOT treat you as a friend?

I have friends who stood by me, even if I were a million miles away from them, even if we haven’t been in touch for years, friends who call me (long-distance call, bear in mind) once in a million years just to ask how I am, to hear my runts and grunts, and give me advice, and listen to me, and I listen to their advice after I grumble.
We don’t meet often, maybe once in a few years, but that’s how they are, willing to call me even though I am so far away, but I am in their hearts, that’s why they care, just like how I care about them.

I did not show that I am a “more understanding friend to her”, I merely wanted you not to feel sour or petty or even feel that someone is taking advantage of you, try to think on the positive side, and try to share other people’s happiness, maybe you will feel more happiness.

Maybe you just don’t know the definition of “friendship”, it’s not about who gives you more, it’s about give and take, it’s about sharing, about feeling what your friend is feeling, about understanding, and patience, and care, and many many other aspects, which is so difficult to summarize in words. But ultimately, it’s just about feeling it in your heart, once you feel it in your heart, other things will just fall into place nicely.

It’s your blog after all, so you can blog what you like, true, same here with me, it’s my blog after all, I can blog what I like too.

ThAt LaDy @ 1:42 PM