Nothing to offer
“an outsider”, fine, I never said I was an insider.
“compare you and her, I think she gave me more than you did”, so that’s your definition of friendship, to take more than you give.
“intrude into my blog”, how did you know I intrude into your blog if you don’t intrude into mine? And I didn’t mean to “intrude”, just to go and see your blog cos I care, even though we are not in contact often.
“disappear from the social circle”, I did not “disappear”, at least she knows my current happenings, cos we keep in contact, but you don’t know about what I’ve been doing recently, so you assumed I “disappear”, well, I am not air, I cannot “disappear”, if you really wanna say I “disappear” , I merely “disappear” from YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE, that’s all.
I “disappear” from YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE not because I don’t like you, just merely we got nothing much to talk about, so we don’t keep in contact. That’s all.
But in my heart, I treat you as a friend whom I’ve known for years, even though we are not close now, I care about you, that’s why I “intrude” into your blog to read, and seeing you planning for your once-in-a-lifetime wedding, I feel happy for you as well.
Just like how I feel happy for her, I took my stand far away and merely watched my friends living their lives happily, preparing the next stage of their lives.
But I feel disappointed when I see how petty you can be, at the small issues of being an “information feeder”, when you should be happily sharing your excitement with her since both of you are going to be brides, but instead, you poured cold water on her, showed un-enthusiasm, even pettiness and feeling sour. Why?
“in return for friendship”, in what kinda ways did she NOT treat you as a friend?
I have friends who stood by me, even if I were a million miles away from them, even if we haven’t been in touch for years, friends who call me (long-distance call, bear in mind) once in a million years just to ask how I am, to hear my runts and grunts, and give me advice, and listen to me, and I listen to their advice after I grumble.
We don’t meet often, maybe once in a few years, but that’s how they are, willing to call me even though I am so far away, but I am in their hearts, that’s why they care, just like how I care about them.
I did not show that I am a “more understanding friend to her”, I merely wanted you not to feel sour or petty or even feel that someone is taking advantage of you, try to think on the positive side, and try to share other people’s happiness, maybe you will feel more happiness.
Maybe you just don’t know the definition of “friendship”, it’s not about who gives you more, it’s about give and take, it’s about sharing, about feeling what your friend is feeling, about understanding, and patience, and care, and many many other aspects, which is so difficult to summarize in words. But ultimately, it’s just about feeling it in your heart, once you feel it in your heart, other things will just fall into place nicely.
It’s your blog after all, so you can blog what you like, true, same here with me, it’s my blog after all, I can blog what I like too.
ThAt LaDy @ 1:42 PM
It's Been Long
Hi all, it's been so long since I blogged. Well, guess not many people will still be reading my blog since all of you will be disappointed everytime you come here and realise that I have still not updated yet, and maybe after a while you will stop coming to my blog.
But never mind, for those who will still come here, that means you are truly my friend, truly concerned for me, who will never give me up, no matter how long time has passed.
And that's why you deserve to be my friend, just like I deserve to be your friend, cause friends are supposed to be like that, never giving up on you, no matter how long time has passed, always there for you when you need them for anything, be it for advise, or just a shoulder to cry on.
People have different goals in life, and sometimes, to pursue these goals, we spend alot of time doing all sorts of things, like working, or any other things that may not seem important in daily life, but each little step we take brings us closer to our goals.
And during our pursuit for these goals, we often may not find the time to relax, or do things that we really enjoy, like catching up with friends, but it does not mean that we have forgotten our friends, it's just that the time is not right yet to do what we love to, even though we would really want to.
Our loved ones will still be in our minds, and when the time has come to catch up with them, it will be so much more meaningful, cause so much time has passed, so many things have happened, and there will be so many things to talk about. That time spent will then be called "quality time".
For those who cannot understand that other people have things to do, and they are always calculative of what others can give them but cannot stand giving more to others, then they don't really understand the meaning of being a friend.
By "information feeder", what's not good in being an information feeder? Isn't friends supposed to provide information when your friends need them? So that they can learn more after you, so that they know what you know, so that they can share what you have, cause they see that you are happy, and they would like to be happy like you, is it so wrong to let them share your happiness, or at least let them find half of your happiness, shouldn't you be glad that you can help them in some way or another so that they are happy too?
I often sigh at the thought that people can't seem to understand other people's difficulties, or is just being petty, or feel jealous and can't seem to genuinely feel happy for others.
When I see my closed ones happy, I feel happy for them too. Example, if I can't afford to drive a BMW, but my friend is driving a BMW, I feel so envious of my friend, take note, envious does not equal jealous. Then, I ask my friend to drive me around in her BMW, and when I hop off her car, and she drives off, I wave after her smiling happily, feeling contented that she's living so well-off!
If I see my friend getting married off in stlye, romantic, happy, and with tears of joy, I will also weep tears of joy, cause I am happy that my friend is happy.
Even though I might not afford to drive a BMW or I might not have a grand wedding like my friend, but I won't be jealous of my friend and I won't feel 心理不平衡，I'll just feel sincerely happy for my friend that she's living so happily!
Isn't that how a friend should be?
Ok, I just can't stand my friend being upset, or angry, that's why I took the time to blog today, hoping that for those who are still feeling sour as to being an "information feeder", I hope I can bring some sense into them, and make them realise that friends are not supposed to be so calculative.
I made so many plans with a friend of mine to meet up, but always fail to meet up with her, but she never for once get angry with me, because she loves me truly as a friend, that's why she understands me. And she allows me the time I need until I can really find some time to meet her. And even till now I have yet to meet up with her, she is still there, patiently waiting for me. Without any complaints.
It's been so long since I met another friend of mine, but we still keep in close contact, and he always finds the time to call me, even though I'm in Malaysia and he's in S'pore, and telephone bill nowadays are so expensive, he still is willing to spend the money and the time on me, just to listen to my voice, listen to my troubles, listen to my complaints, listen to my ups and downs in life, over the telephone.
Sometimes I grumble over the unhappiness that I have come through, but then I look back and think of all those who love me truly, all my friends who are still there waiting patiently for me, and I know that they have never forgotten me, I know that they are always hoping that I am well deep in their hearts, and I feel really touched and blessed.
Well, for updates on how I'm doing and what I'm doing nowadays, you'll have to come to my blog again.
I'm ending this post abruptly, and hope that the next post will be a happy one.
Take care!
ThAt LaDy @ 9:30 AM
Cobwebs
Sorry, been really busy lately. They say when you have something you lose something.
Yeh, totally agree. Since the birth of my car, it's been really hard on me. Well, not really hard, just that I am working hard now so that in future everything will be easy for me.
Yup, that's right. It's me typing here on my blog. Finding it hard to believe that I am planning for the future? Well, can't blame you. Since I've always been a live-for-this-moment type of person, even I myself can't believe the change in myself. Kekeke~~~
There's still alota things on my mind right now, still many goals unachieved. But I'm so many steps closer now to my goals, which gives me the motivation to work even harder every morning when I wake up, telling myself that today's another step closer, and feeling all the satisfaction in me, I feel alive.
The most important thing in life, even if the whole world gives up on you, never ever give up on yourself. Give yourself a goal, what is it that you wanna prove to others? And then, focus, motivate yourself, drive yourself, and you will achieve.
And then, when you have proven yourself, others will then understand that you are still alive, you are not dead.
Even if you feel there's no one you need to prove to, at least prove it to yourself. It's so meaningful, so satisfied, so proud, when you see what you have achieved through hard work.
It's never too late.
Haha, feel like an old lady now. Wish I can understand all these earlier. Well, they say if you have never experienced it, you will never KNOW.
You won't feel the pain unless the needle pricks you.
I thank all those people who despises me before, who gave me your harsh words, thank you all for hurting me like hell. Without you, I will not be who I am today.
Thank those who have hurt you, and the best defense to them is to be better than them in every way.
Thanks to my "Lao Gong" for scolding me so often, I know he meant well. I know the love he has for me whenever breakfast, lunch and dinner is sent to me personally by him. I know the hurt he feels whenever he sees my cry after he has scolded me. I know it every minute of the day. His messages, his words, his hug, his kiss, his everything, every gesture is done because he loves me.
And for all my friends out there, I have never forgotten you. I still wanna do my hair with you this coming CNY Meifen. I promise I will do it with you this year, just like the past. We'll do our shopping together again and talk till the wee hours in the morning again. Soon. Promise.
ThAt LaDy @ 7:20 PM
有人说
曾经有人对我说过，感情不是生命中的全部。
今天有人对我说，要死，需要很大的勇气，但是，要活下去，需要更大的勇气。
原来，哭过以后，还是会笑。虽然笑得不再像从前那么甜，但是，一切总会过去。
今天的我，哭也哭过了，笑也笑过了。今天的我，终于在一次鼓起勇气，继续走下去。
今天的我，下定决心，未来的路，不管多苦，我都会撑过去的。
一年后的我，一定很成功。至少，一年后的我，可以抬得起头做人。至少，一年后的我，可以看得起自己。
现在的我，最大的目标，就是要在一年后，让今天所有对我说过伤害我的话的人，都吞回他们今天的话。
既然已经下定决心，就不要再害怕寂寞，不要再害怕辛苦，不要再羡慕别人，不要再嫉妒别人，只要做好自己，只要在一年后，达到我的目标。
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Whatever will come will come, whatever will past will past.
ThAt LaDy @ 6:56 PM
I Just Feel Rotten
Whatever I do, it seems wrong. Can't please anyone, can't let anyone be happy.
曾经真心努力过，想要的只是能够让身边的人都开心，却发现好像不管做什么都是错，都只有让人讨厌。
我对着你们笑，你们说我只懂得娱乐，我不笑，你们说我拉长一张脸，看了都讨厌。
我什么都不会做，但想学。想帮忙，说我碍手碍脚。在一旁看，说我懒，不会自动，没有心学。
我说多错多，不说话你们又说我像哑巴。
每天都觉得头很痛，睡醒就在想今天我又会怎样被骂？
想逃，不知道可以逃去哪里，也拿不出勇气。
想死，又怕死，也拿不出勇气去死。。。
ThAt LaDy @ 5:54 PM
UPDATES!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I haven't been blogging for so loooong......... Cos I've been really really busy recently.
So, just to update a bit,
few weeks ago went out with Da for sushi at Novena, it's called 日本村. Damn cheap and you can eat as much sashimi as you can for buffet time. Think it's from 2.30pm to 5.30pm for weekdays only.
and much much more we ate that day, damn lot of photos, lazy to upload all, but we ate so much till we damn full lor. At only a price of
for the two of us.
Remember I told you guys sometime ago that I've got a plan, a goal, a target which I've set for myself?
Guess what, I finally fulfilled it,
YESSSS!!!!!!!! MY OWN CAR!!!!!!!!!!
No more cab rides, fucking expensive. No more squeezing of MRTs and buses, fucking inconvenient in Malaysia anyway.
Meifen, next time when you come in to Malaysia we no need to worry about transport le, that's why I tell you to be patient. Now, you have to be a bit more patient cos I'm very far away at my hometown, but I'll call you as soon as I get back k??!!!
Finally, my beloved "Lao Gong", who's been with me through so much, who's helped me and taught me so much all the way while purchasing this car,
I Love You so much!!! Muacksss!!!
Yeah, I know I'm damn ugly in the photo, that's cos I've been so tired these past few months.
And no, my hubby is fucking handsome. I'll slap you if you say he's ugly..
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Love you guys! I'll try to blog again soon!!!!!!!
ThAt LaDy @ 7:54 PM
I Love My New Boots
Finally, after a looong time, after hesitating, searching, trying, hesitating again, finally finally finally, today, I got my boots.
Damage:
RM99.00Actually it looks much more chioer on my legs than in photos. There's another one which I actually saw first, which is up to the knee de, but then discovered that they didn't have my size. I was really disappointed when I thought I couldn't get my boots after all, when suddenly I saw this pair which I bought, and fell in love with it.
It's love at first sight lor.
But now my friend says that I look like those GRO girls who work in KTV and discos, you know, those who sit around with customers and let their dirty hands touch their bodies all over. Then I feel like, shit, maybe I shouldn't bought it in the first place. But she told me that it looks really good on me. Just that I shouldn't match it with sexy blouses and heavy make-up.
I'm like, WHAT THE FUCK?
Am I supposed to wear these chio chio boots to match it with dirty old t-shirts with my hair all over the place and zero make-up? Not even to shade my eyebrows or some mascara or some lipstick?
Think I'll look like a freak.
But anyway, I'm happy la..
Just don't tell Mr Lao Gong that I cheat him of an extra RM100.00 of room rental to pay for my boots. He doesn't read English, so it's ok.
Shhhh~~~~~~~~~
ThAt LaDy @ 3:20 PM
