~~~ That's Me ~~~

Today feeling kinda tired cos didn't sleep enough for a few nights already.. These few nights keep having fun, maybe cos I haven't relax myself for soooo long, I really feel its time for me to let go of the past and enjoy thouroughly..

I used to go clubbing or hang out every week, at least a few times a week. But as time goes by, work gets busy, lifestlye changes, priority changes and hence less time for fun.

I have been through a very rough patch some time ago, and because of that I suffered alot in KL. Alone in a place far away from home, no family, no friends.

In the whole time I was in KL, I finally understood the meaning of H-O-M-E.

I left for KL with a very heavy heart and at that point of time, I have already mentally prepard myself for the challenges that I know will come. However, when I see myself alone in the mirror in my rented room, I tell myself that I chose this path and I need to go on with it, that I went there for a purpose, and that is time for me to heal.

In the morning, I would wake up with an empty feeling, then go to work. And after work, I would dread going back to that rented room of mine cos I was scared to be alone. And so I would go walk around the neighbourhood near the place I stay and discover that I'm still alone after all. Can anyone ever understand this kind of feeling? The loneliness, helplessness, homesickness?

When there's no one there for you to cover you in your blanket, when there's no one there to give you medicine when you are sick, when you feel cold and sick and tired all the time and there's no one there at all to talk to..

That's the time you really miss your friends, your family, your loved ones, those who care about you and you start to doubt yourself. Have you ever sincerely appreciated all that they have done for you, or have you just been taking them for granted all along?

And after all these phases I went through, I can now confidently say that,

I understand better my family's expectations of me, and their care for me, and their wish for me to be well and safe. I understand better the meaning of friendship. True friends call you frequently even when you are far away from them, and they ask you how you are doing in such a far away place, and they ask you is everything going well, and then you start to feel like crying and you start to rant to your friend about your life in your new place and your work in your new place, and then, when your friend asks you to go back, you almost ran on your bare feet with your hand still holding on to your handphone to your ear and running, and running, and running in your pajamas,

to possibly the nearest taxi stand and ask the driver to drive you ALLLLLL the way back to your home...

ALMOST...

But after those nights and days of vampireesm ( I call it vampireesm as I feel that I was living like a vampire ), I have learnt, and grown.

I am no longer one who will give up easily, for I AM STRONG NOW!

HAHAHA!!!

Both in the mind and in the heart! ( I think the body too... Keke.. )

So I know that I made the right choice as I have learnt valuable lessons in life,

to cherish, love and respect your loved ones...

And for those who hurt you,

FORGET THEM!

cos they do not know your value and they do not love you, for if they do,

THEY WOULDN'T HURT YOU!

All right, enough of emotional stuff, let's talk about something more happy shall we??

I'm anxiously waiting for the day to come when I can go back to my KAMPONG!

I'm happy, happy, happyyyyy!!!!

I wanna eat eat eat sleep sleep sleep and take ANG POWS!!