~~~ That's Me ~~~

Monday, February 4, 2008

回家，回忆

那天收到你的一封信息，你祝我生日快乐。。 我第一个反应。。 流泪了。

流着泪水的眼睛，心中却带着一份兴奋，兴奋的同时，也不知觉的感到心酸。。

我哭了好久，想了好久。想着该怎么回你的信息。最后，我决定不去想，跟着感觉走。

跟你说了谢谢，也千交待万交待的叮嘱你，要好好照顾自己。

我跟你说，每个人对自己的父母亲都有着一份责任。生命是父母给的，我们不应该自己夺走自己的生命。那是一种自私又不负责任的行为。每个人都是自己来自己走。没有谁说没有了谁就活不下去的。所以，我跟你说，我会好好的生活下去，也会好好的照顾自己，你不用担心。

记得去年我的生日吗？你带我去吃饭。虽然只是短短的两个小时，虽然只是简单的吃一顿饭，但是我已经很开心了，你知道吗？

可惜，今年我没有这个福气，但我跟你说，不要紧，能收到你的信息，我已经很开心了，真的！

明天我就要回去了，我说，在回去的一路上，我会很想念你的。因为我会记起去年的这个春节，我穿着你送我的新衣，和你一起从我们的家乡返回城市。

记得在车里，我们谈了很多很多。那天我真的很开心，因为我觉得很简单，却也很温暖。

不知不觉，我竟然与你谈着谈着，就睡着了。你却一个人，在夜里那暗暗的高速公路上，小心的驾驶着，把我安全的载到你家门口。六个小时的车程，一定累坏了你。

当你叫醒我时，我发觉自己已经睡着，就骂你，说你不应该让我睡着，因为晚上一个人驾车没有人陪你说话，是很危险的。 如果一不留神，稍微不专注，就可能会促成大祸的！

你却笑着对我说，我睡着时最可爱，因为我不会叽叽喳喳的说个不停。害我想气又气不了。

后来看见你一躺下去就睡着的样子，让我看了很是心疼。。

其实每一刻于你相处的点滴，我都记得很清楚。我想记得开心的时刻，不想记得不开心的时刻。

那封信息我写得很长，也很吃力。。 但在写的当儿，我却得到了一份安慰。。

安慰的是我终于能放下这一段感情。虽然我知道我还需要一段时间才能够让伤口复原，但至少我知道我已经能够控制自己的情绪，也已经不会想不开了。。

一切都已经过去，再想多也没有用。用心去感受吧！佛有言，放下恨意，升華自己。。。

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'll be going home tomorrow, so excited, so nervous, so afraid...

Excited cos I'll be having lots of fun and receiving lots of ang pows! Yay!

Nervous cos it's been a year since I last saw my uncles, aunties, and all my other relatives.. Don't know how they have changed over this past year??

Afraid cos,

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I'll be seeing my grandfather, whom, I have heard, is getting real old now..

Haiz...

He's getting so sick now.. Coughing never seems to stop, cough till asthma, still like to eat oranges, and so old till got no more strength to drive his motorcycle, but still wanna drive, until he almost fell down when he tried to push his motorcycle..

I'm just afraid that I will see his old and frail face cos I just can't imagine him to be any different than how I have seen him last year..

I just cannot stand to think that he will be leaving us one day, cos I'm just so used to having him around every year, when we go back for CNY, where he will stand at the gates of our house at our kampong, and when he finally see our car approaching, he will wave and smile so happily even though he's showing us his toothless mouth..

He's just so cute, you know?

I'm also afraid cos I don't want to see my grandmother cry when she sees us off at the door when we are leaving..

It just breaks my heart to see old people cry can?

So I promise myself that from now on I shall go back to my kampong at least a few times a year, instead of once a year..

Hopefully I can go back more often, say, maybe once in two months? or once in three months at least?

I just hope that while they are still with me I am able to see them more often..

Anyway, back to happier stuff!

I'm going back tomorrow! So all worries and emo stuff aside, I shall just let things be and concentrate more on the happy festive spirit! Yay!!!

8 days leave, would be so shiok!!!

Yeeba yeeba andenei andenei!!!

HAHAHA!!! I am already in holiday mood lor!!!

I will thoroughly enjoy my CNY this year, I will eat like nobody's business and I DO NOT CARE even if it means gaining another five pounds when I come back!

And here, I shall end this looooong entry and wish all of you a very prosperous and meaningful

ThAt LaDy @ 8:41 PM